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Post by Thunderheart & Whitecloud on Nov 9, 2008 11:08:34 GMT -5
Name: Thunderheart Age: 24 moons(2 summers) Gender: She-cat Alliance: Fireclan Rank: Warrior
Picture: Sorry, i don't have a pic for thunderheart.
Description: Thunderheart is a beautiful orange she-cat with a flame-colored pelt. She had black paws,ears, muzzle and tail tip. Thunderheart also has a white-furred chest. She has emerald-gren eyes in the daytime. She has bright blue eys at night.
Personality: Thunderheart is very brave, and she isn't afraid to stand up for what she believes in. She is also very out-going and strong. Thunderheart can also be very stubborn at times and sometimes really likes things going her own way. At the same time, she is kind and caring. She is very loyal and has freespirit.
History: Sadly, Thunderheart has never known her mother or father. She has no known brothers or sisters. Thunderheart was born a kittypet, but left her twoleg nest at the young age of six moons old. Her story is very similar to that of Firestar's in the books. Thunderheart has fought in a couple battles and she has a good reputation in the hunting catagory.
Role play example: A beautiful she-cat padded through her clans' territory. Thunderheart heard a scuffling amoug a nearby bush and went into a stalking position. As she got nearer, she pounced and killed the vole with a swift bite to the neck. She picked up the tiny creature and started to pad back to retreive her other prey. Thunderheart dug up her other prey and carried it back to her clans' camp.
Other: Mateless, very kind, mother and father are unknown.
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[.:Breaker:.]
Co-Admin
The Site's Scavenger & Co-admin
"Hurry, Silver, RUN. She'll be on our tails with a butcher knife!" ~ mah friend, Mizu
Posts: 34
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Post by [.:Breaker:.] on Nov 9, 2008 15:42:50 GMT -5
Thunderheart, I think it might be a better idea to make your details longer. The Description and Personality are meant to be four sentences long, and her history must be at least five.
Might I also suggest an appropriate age? I, personally, like to think that a cat is 'okay' to become a warrior at the age of eighteen moons, unless the apprentice is unnaturally gifted in all areas. Your cat would've been an apprentice for less than six moons if she is indeed twelve moons.
-Breaker
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Post by blue « on Nov 15, 2008 7:52:17 GMT -5
[/b] black paws,ears, muzzle and tail tip[/i]. ---- this sounds like you're talking about a dead creature, this should be 'has' unless she had lost these parts .. does thunder have any likes/dislikes, weaknesses, strengths? talk about her relationship with friends and stuff. Her story is very similar to that of Firestar's in the books. never use this sort of text, say like she has heard stories 'bout the old clans and started to be like a firestar or something. make it interesting. i'll come back to this bio tomorrow to talk about her appearance or just check 'cloudhearts' bio and read what i said and you'll get the drill.
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